I always figured there were four categories of intelligence,

 Then I got to thinking of all the things I’ve been through and survived in my life, particularly when I was working horseback, and how some of them things were just flat dumb.

So, I figured there should be a fifth category just for me – Too Dumb To Live, But Too Tough To Die.  So, I wrote this poem in my honor.

 

 

 

 Too Dumb To Live – Too Tough To Die

 

Two angels sat in Heaven, one was bright, and clean, and neat,

The other looked plum worn out all battered, bruised and beat.

“Who’s my new assignment?” Asked the one all clean and bright,

The other peered through a big black eye; oh he surely was a sight.

He pointed down at a cowboy and his hand just slightly shook,

As he handed over a file the size of a Dallas telephone book.

 

 He said, “That there is Dave and he’s led one crazy life,

And he’s put more’n one gray hair on his patient wife.

He’s been in fights and horse wrecks, and stompin’s he’s took galore,

Yeah, it’s all there in the file; I don’t need to tell you more.”

“That old man sitting there drinking coffee?  What could he ever do?”

The battered angel twinged in pain, I’m the third, he wore out the other two.”

 

 So, the one went to reading the file as his jaw slowly began to drop,

“Holy cow, the things this guy’s survived, why didn’t he ever stop?”

“I once asked the Boss that very question, why Dave was such a fool,

He said, it was because when He made him He threw in a little mule.

But, Boss, I said, this guy’s too dumb to live, I don’t really see why?

“Yeah ol’ Dave’s a dumb one,” He said, “ but just too darn tough to die.”

 

The angel sat contented, “Well, I got the Dave who’s old and all worn out,

I’m sure he’s settled down a bit, this should be an easy job no doubt.”

“I don’t know said the other, as he touched his swollen eye,

Remember, he’s too dumb to live and just too tough to die.”

Then, he looked at Dave one last time and then he slowly grinned,

Good luck friend, I know that look, Dave’s getting his second wind.

 

 Dave P. Fisher